My Marriage Confession

I have a confession to make. As many of you know when Kim was battling stage IV cancer much of last year I was pumping out blog posts like my life depended on it. So many of you prayed for us and I felt like as a husband there was little more I could do than share our story and beg for prayers. I wrote about every step of our cancer journey, how it affected me, Kim and our kids. I wrote about our love story - my three year pursuit of Kim (and her repeated rejections). I wrote about the need for bone marrow registration and the health struggles of some dear friends who were also battling cancer. But there was one thing that I held back from sharing. Something that consumed much of my thoughts and energy during that time and still does today. And that is marriage.

Outside of a few close friends and family no one really knew this but when Kim was getting chemo treatments I wrote tirelessly on the topic of marriage. I was getting about 4 hours of sleep a night and we spent 42 nights in the hospital last year so I had plenty of time to write. It was a welcome distraction from the daily stresses of cancer and despite undergoing the challenges of chemotherapy Kim was supportive every step of the way. Insecure about the fact that I still have so much to learn about marriage, unsure of the best medium to communicate this and at times afraid of what people might think I've been holding back on sharing it on this blog up until now. (I'm out of excuses) I know this topic tends to be a very sensitive one for many and a lightning rod for controversy and so I'm going to try and balance what I share with equal parts grace and truth (would Jesus do any different?) with the hope that it will generate more light than heat.

Seeing Jesus in Down's Syndrome

I recently ran across this ESPN video of a man and his personal struggle with having a child with Down's Syndrome. It will move you because it's about...
Pride and Selfishness.
Shame and Repentance.
Hope and Redemption.
It's about the sanctity of life and the glory of love.



Heath was so desperate to demonstrate his perfect love for his imperfect child that he had a tattoo etched on his body. Reminds me of another who did the same...

"See I have engraved you in the palm of my hands..." -Isaiah 49:16

You will see glimpses of the divine love in this life. But only in Jesus will you see it for eternity.

And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever. -Rev 22:5

Peter & Kim

When You Want to Punch a Christian in the Face

"Don't Worry God Won't Give You More Than You Can Handle!" -Joe Christian

*pfffffftttt* Whatevers.

How many times have you heard that line from a well-meaning Christian friend in one of your lowest moments and you couldn't think of anything that would be more cathartic than punching him/her in the face?

Ran across this great blog post recently confronting this statement and found it surprisingly refreshing: "Confronting the Lie: God Won't Give You More than You Can Handle".

I think there are plenty of times that God will give you more than you can handle.

Way more.

I felt it in the touch and go moments of Kim's cancer. I felt it in the darkest moments of stress, anxiety and depression. I've felt it way more than I'd like to admit. Yes, there are times when I feel like Paul when he says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13) but there are more times when I resonate with Paul when he writes:

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death... -2 Cor 1:8

Sometimes God WILL give you more than you can bear..."far beyond your ability to endure" and to the point where you "despair of life itself"...

Light the Night & Ride for Refuge

Dear Friends,

Shamelessly asking for your support for two great causes:

As many of you know, Joe Park lost his son Andrew after a valiant battle with cancer last summer. Joe will be participating in the "Light the Night" walk raising funds for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society on October 19th. Please consider donating to this worthy cause in support of Joe and in loving memory of his son Andrew. There are so many battling this horrible disease and every little bit will help. Read his blog entry HERE and please consider donating on Joe's fundraising page HERE.



Also, on October 5th my family will be participating in the Ride for Refuge to raise funds with charities that support the displaced, abused and or exploited. See list of non-profits supported HERE. Please consider supporting us as we hope to raise at least $500 to help those in our communities that are most in need of it.  You can find our fundraising page HERE (mine) or HERE (Kim's).

If you think about it, in a sense we are all refugees. Sojourners who are traveling through a temporary home until we find rest in our eternal one and so we should have compassion for these more than any other.

He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing. Love the sojourner, therefore, for you were sojourners in the land of Egypt. -Deut 10:18-19

Seeing Jesus in the Sun

Grand Canyon Sunset July 2012

Last summer we had the opportunity to go to the Grand Canyon and watch the sun set (see link). As soon as that bright orange sphere slipped beneath the horizon everyone around us began to clap their hands. 

This surprised me.

I've been to maybe two movies in my lifetime where the audience has clapped at the ending credits but I'd never heard anyone applaud an act of nature. I wondered who were they clapping for exactly? The sun? The God who made the sun? Themselves for coming out to witness it?

I get it. There's something inherently glorious about the sun. In fact, if you look up solar deity on wikipedia (here) you will find that "sun worship can be found throughout most of recorded history in various forms" - from Aztec, African or Chinese mythology to major religions like Hinduism and Buddhism to those who religiously sun-bathe on the beach. Check out this amazing video which captures some the beauty of the sun. 

A Redemption Story

This video is subtitled and only three minutes long and yet it has the power to move us deeply. What is it about stories of acts of mercy, redeemed lives, forgiveness of debt and ultimate justice that stirs our hearts? This is the power of the gospel. This is what we all long for. May we see in every beautiful story the one story that surpasses them all.

And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. -Romans 8:23

Seeing Jesus in Apple Cider

I love the outdoors but I have a strong aversion against anything that has to do with plants and gardens. (If you read the Beauty & the Beast series you might recall why here). That said, my brother-in-law Kurt and his wife Jenna have this beautiful farm about 40 minutes from our home and every time I go there I'm able to set aside my "issues" with gardening and find myself amazed. We recently went over for a visit and Kurt taught the boys how to make homemade apple cider. Pretty cool stuff (see video below).


As you can see cider-making involves a lot of time and energy for just a little bit of juice. It took many years for the trees to become mature enough to produce fruit worth consuming.

All this got me thinking about how God has used fruit trees to teach us about Himself and His ways. One of my favorite books of all time is a brief 91 pager entitled The Green Letters by Miles Stanford. I first read it back in college and it's an absolute keeper:

"It seems that most believers have difficulty in realizing and facing up to the inexorable fact that God does not hurry in His development of our Christian life. He is working from and for eternity! So many feel that they are not making progress unless they are swiftly and constantly forging ahead." (p.13)

I often find myself frustrated in my own spiritual walk. I see my own shortfalls, failures and inadequacies as a father, husband and person and feel I'm not growing and changing fast enough. And then I'm reminded that my victories and my failures are not wasted and are both being used by God to shape me into the image of His Son - for my good and for His glory.