Life, Death and the Glory of God

I want to share a quick story on the sovereignty and goodness of God in the midst of aching trials. When Kim was sick with cancer, we were served by some wonderful people. One of the best was our friend Jen (and her husband Rob) Stotz. She was truly a blessing to us -- constantly praying for us and greeting us with that positive attitude and infectious smile of hers. We were more than happy to partially return the favor this past year after we heard that her brother Bob was stricken with cancer and battling for his life. I did not know Bob personally but followed his journey of faith and suffering. He struck me as a godly man with a beautiful young family who loved to serve the "least of these" as proven by his dedication as a pediatric surgeon and his heart for medical missions.

Well, long (and tragic) story short -- Bob passed away last week after fighting to the end. The grace he and his sister Jen displayed through all of it is truly a testimony to the indescribable hope and peace we have in Christ. Though the outcome was not what we had hoped for, I know God was glorified by their faith. I share this because last night we got a message from Jen. Apparently, as soon as she got home from her brother's funeral a letter was waiting for her. It was from Be the Match and she was notified that she is a possible match for someone with cancer in need of a bone marrow transplant.

Jen wanted us to know since she registered when Kim was sick in 2012 when we were trying to get the word out for everyone to sign up. Only God could have orchestrated the timing of all these events. Obviously, the outcomes were very different for Kim and Bob and frankly it's something we don't understand ourselves, but one thing remains the same: GOD. God is good. God is sovereign and God is near to the broken-hearted.

p.s. If you haven't done so already please visit bethematch.org and register to be a donor. It's as simple as mailing in a cheek swab.

Peter

Hearing God in the Voice of a Child...

Thanks so much for your prayers. Right now, we have no idea what is going on in Kim's body. The doctors don't even know. But God knows. God knows all things and all we can do is wait on Him.

I find it difficult to sleep these days and in those dark moments when I let my mind wander it's easy for my heart to feel so heavy under the weight of all my fears. But God is good and He provides new mercies to get through each day.

Tonight while getting ready to put the kids down I could hear Selah my 4 yo girl singing in her room. Her name comes from the Psalms so it's no surprise that she is always singing...and I mean always. But tonight was different. She was singing a song that she was making up as she sang and it went like this:

God is strong....He's so strong He can lift up a car....He made the sun and the blue skies...and when the sun sets it goes to sleep but God doesn't sleep...God gives peace....God gives peace. 

I stood at a distance watching Selah sing this to Kim in her pajamas and tears welled up in my eyes.  She had no idea how much I needed to hear those words. I've never felt God speaking to me through the voice of a child like I did right then and there.

Yes, God is strong. He's stronger than cancer.
Yes, God doesn't sleep. His eyes are always on His children.
Yes, God gives peace. I feel that peace tonight.

Thank you Selah. Thank you Jesus.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. -John 14:27

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

Prayer Request

"Be joyful always. Pray continuously. Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." -1 Thess 5:16

We just got back from the doctor's and the doctor said the PET scan looked "good" but there were some things that showed up that he wanted to do further testing on. There was one small spot that lit up in the chest and there was some activity in the stomach region. He didn't want to alarm us since this can occur for various reasons but he wants to be sure and so we are scheduling Kim to go in for an endoscopy and some biopsies and likely won't know for certain if the lymphomas has returned until a couple weeks.

It was obviously not the news I was hoping for but God still sits on His throne and our faith is in Him. Frankly, Kim is taking the news better than me. So thankful to God to be married to such a beautiful woman.

We would appreciate your prayers for strength and courage. I can't tell you how much love and encouragement we feel in knowing that we have so many wonderful friends that have been such faithful prayer warriors for us. Honestly, we are so humbled. We love you all.

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

Seeing Jesus in Andrew Park

For those interested in attending Andrew's memorial service tomorrow night please see Joe's blog HERE for details.  Thanks to many of you who reached out after my last post about getting a bone marrow drive set up at the Global Missions Conference in Wheaton later this month. I was able to get in touch with some of the leaders and the ball is rolling. Please pray for a favorable result and for Connor and so many others that are searching desperately for a match.
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Andrew at age 4 in his Sunday School class

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die. -John 11:25

I've been reflecting a lot this past week or two on Andrew's passing and the emotions have been so mixed. We are grieving for a family that misses him so much, and yet we are joyful in knowing that Andrew is free from pain and in the presence of Jesus. 

As many of you know, Andrew wasn't just another boy with cancer to us. Kim had the privilege of being Andrew's Sunday School teacher since he was about four years old and so she has watched him grow over the years in every way a boy can grow.

Not only that, Andrew was also diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia the day after we found out that Kim had cancer and so from the onset we all knew that we were fighting this battle together. Both Kim and Andrew fought through their respective cancers and despite very different outcomes they both fought a good fight and they fought with the Lord's strength. I am sure of it.

This was Andrew's second bout with cancer. His first was over three years ago and so Kim and I not only looked to the Lord but to Andrew, his father Joe and their family to help us walk through this darkest of valleys. Despite their own pain and suffering they were happy to serve us in this way. The student was now leading the teacher and we had never been more proud to follow.

I'll be honest. In my flesh, sometimes it's hard not to struggle with the fact that Kim is in remission, while Andrew has passed and Connor continues to recover from a failed BMT. Sometimes it's difficult to make sense of God's plan as it unfolds. But the truth still stands: God is good. God is sovereign. God is glorious.  Sometimes those truths are all you have to cling to...but it's enough.

These past few days I've been meditating upon two deaths in the Gospels - Lazarus and Jesus. Lazarus was raised from the dead but the truth is he eventually died. The Gospels do not record the exact day or when it happened but it's true - he passed away. Jesus' resurrection was different. He has risen and he still lives.

Jesus' raising of Lazarus from the dead was just a picture of the greater resurrection that was soon to come. His own.  And therein lies our living hope. If Lazarus' empty tomb was but a shadow, then Jesus' empty tomb is the Sun. One a dim reflection and the other a blaze of glory.

And what we learn is that even in death or life, God's goodness cannot be diminished, God's purpose cannot thwarted, and God's glory cannot be frustrated. Jesus' death and resurrection has paved the way for ours and when we receive Jesus by faith as our Lord and Savior we become participants of his death and resurrection (Gal 2:20) and that is exactly what the baptism (being submerged underwater and brought to new life) was meant to picture. And so we mourn but we do not mourn like the world who has no hope. We mourn death with a living hope. Because our hope is in the One who is the "resurrection and the life"(Jn 11:25).

I believe with all my heart that Andrew is now in the presence of Jesus and he has never been happier. Ever. His eyes now see what his heart already knew and he is in the arms of the One who sustains the universe and who spoke it into being.

God's goodness has not been diminished, God's purpose has not been thwarted, and God's glory has not been frustrated. Blessed be His name.

In His Hope,

Peter & Kim

Nurse Kate's Testimony

HEALTH UPDATES: Sorry for the delayed update but Kim's PET scan results came in and although it showed large amounts of scar tissue...there were NO cancer cells. Praising the Lord and thankful for your prayers! That said, please continue to lift up Andrew and Connor. Andrew is doing better but is still in ICU and needs your prayers. Connor is in the hospital with a fever and in a lot of pain. Please pray for these courageous boys and their families as they go through this challenging grafting process. Also, if you are a prayer warrior please lift up the other requests found in the Prayer Requests tab above or HERE.
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One of the greatest blessings of our journey with cancer has been meeting some wonderful doctors, nurses and health professionals along the way. But if there is one person that has really been a great joy to get to know it has to be Nurse Kate at NWCH. She's just one of those people that is a lot of fun to be around and sincerely cares about her patients. Seeing the Lord work in her life has been one of the greatest bright spots of our difficult journey and we're so thankful we met her and can call her a friend. She shared her testimony at Kim's Surprise Party and quite a few people shared how blessed they were by it and so I thought I'd share it with those of you that couldn't make it. Enjoy and God bless.

Seeing Jesus in Les Miserables

PRAYER REQUESTS: Please continue to lift up those that have requested prayer by clicking HERE. Some quick updates on Kim, Andrew and Connor. We are still waiting on Friday's PET scan result and will let you know if it's clean (Lord willing). Andrew was moved to the ICU due to complications from pneumonia, a high fever and kidney/liver issues. Connor has had a long and painful weekend as well battling hemorrhoids and bleeding gums. Please lift them up today if you could. Thanks. 
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Unlike Kim, I'm never been a big fan of musicals, but if there is one musical that gets me every time it's got to be Les Miserables. As many of you probably know, it's a classic tale set to the French Revolution that has endured for 150 years because of its profound redemptive theme. In fact, it reminds me of  another story "the greatest story every told" (i.e. the Gospel) which has endured for 2,000 years. They both tell a riveting story of law and grace, sin and forgiveness, greed and giving, romance and redemption. I bring all this up because I ran across a movie trailer of the classic novel which will be coming out this Christmas (see below) - it looks very promising.


The song I Dreamed a Dream sung throughout this trailer is a haunting reminder that this world is utterly broken and it leaves us desperately longing for a more perfect world. It resonates deep within each of us because we all recognize this to be true. Something profound was lost in the Garden of Eden and we have all been searching for it since. C.S. Lewis said, "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."  Read the lyrics below...

Kim's Cancer-Kicking SURPRISE Party

So last Saturday night we did it! We surprised Kim with a special party at Harvest Bible Chapel (Rolling Meadows) which included about 200 close friends and family and it was PERFECT. I thought she was on to me because I'm a horrible liar and left some inadvertent clues the last few weeks, but it turns out she had NO idea. Here is the video of her surprise entrance:
So a few weeks after we found out about our remission, I wanted to do something special for everyone (at least locally) that had been kind enough to serve us by feeding us, caring for us, sharing their own stories and verses from their respective trials with us, and faithfully praying for us in the midst of the greatest trial of our lives. What better way to do this than throw a big party? But most of all, I wanted the night to be about thanking the Lord, who ultimately healed my wife and who gave us life and gave His life - making all this possible. Thank you Jesus! I also sang a very special song that night after dinner, that I thought I'd share with you.
That wasn't it though. We got to see the Lord's faithfulness (and some funny moments) by walking through a slideshow history of Kim's life and we also got to hear some powerful testimonies from others about how God had used our cancer trial to move in their hearts and allowed them to "see more of Jesus". We ended everything with a video chronicling our journey (see below) and a great time of worship. A special thanks to everyone involved and all glory to God!

I'll try to get more video up on the blog soon - especially of the testimonies. There are so many of you out there that we wish could have joined us, and so these clips are my best attempt at doing that. We love you and thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

Oh give thanks to the LORD; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to Him. Sing praise to Him. Tell of all His wondrous works." -Psalm 105:1-2

Bone Marrow Update & IT IS FINISHED!

Marty & my Favorite Prez

GREAT NEWS! Kim is finally done with her last chemo treatment and was discharged from the hospital today! After 42 nights in the hospital....it is FINISHED! I'm so proud of her and thankful to God. It's been an amazingly difficult but blessed four months. Unfortunately, I was not even in town for this momentous occasion because I'm in Washington D.C. right now attending a GE Leadership Conference (with Kim's blessing). Normally, I wouldn't have even considered going, but there are things happening at GE with the bone marrow initiative and telling our story was the best way to keep the momentum going. Believe it or not, the theme of the conference this year is "Leading With Courage: Share Your Story". How appropriate.

When the cancer hit in January my company supported me in every way possible. They graciously granted me an extended medical leave so I could focus on taking care of Kim and our kids. And soon after, when I asked some senior leaders at GE for their help on raising awareness for the bone marrow issue they stepped up BIG. In just two short months they have managed to run four separate bone marrow drives in each of our Chicago area offices, and they are about to roll out bone marrow drives in all of our major offices across the country! I was surprised to find out that they had also included a flyer at the conference for each of the 700 attendees telling our story and informing them of the process. I even got to share our story with our CEO and it was great to hear from so many leaders from all over the country who are eager to help. I'm so thankful to work for a company that doesn't just care about the bottom line, but cares deeply about it's employees. It's exciting to see how quickly things are moving and by the end of this, hopefully, there will be thousands of new registrants - and if even one life is saved it will be worth it.

I flew in late on Saturday night and got to worship on Sunday with the good folks at ChristReformed Presbyterian Church. I have known the pastor and his wife (Skip & Bonnie) since they were in seminary in St. Louis, back when I was in high school, and they and their church (especially a couple named John & Charlene) have been so faithful in praying for us. Charlene was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 years ago and had to undergo her treatment despite being 24 weeks pregnant. Amazingly, by the grace of God, none of the chemo drugs went through the placenta and the baby was completely fine and by the way, he is the cutest and brightest three year old you will ever meet. After their service I had the privilege (along with Charlene) of sharing our testimony with them and was so blessed to see old friends and make new ones.

God has been so good and we are so thankful to have a story to share of His goodness and even our struggles in our darkest moments. As I've said before, being a "witness" does not mean just sharing the gospel with non-believers. I think it means sharing with others what the Lord has done and is doing in your lives - good and bad. Psalm 105 has been on my heart a lot lately and I'm trying to be faithful to it's call...

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! -Psalm 105:1-2

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

A Separate Peace

No less than six hours after we got news that Kim's cancer was in full remission, we also heard from another couple we know  that has been fighting a different cancer (pancreatic) and for much longer than we have (three years!). The situation is dire right now and the doctor's prognosis is grim, but we're praying for a miracle. Our hearts are heavy for him and his loved ones. Please see a post from his wife HERE and brief excerpt we read yesterday below. If you would be so kind please lift Rich and Jeannie and their beautiful family up in faithful prayers of faith: 

"Rich was in bad shape when we got to the hospital this afternoon. Our doctor was tearing while he talked to us in the conference room. He really does care about Rich and doesn't want to give us false hope. He said he didn't need a scan to see that the cancer had gotten worse- jaundiced, skin and bones, unfocused. He didn't want to subject Rich to any more discomfort. Said he would set Rich up in a room with IV fluids and that he would not be surprised if Rich passed away tonight. I cried a lot. Rich's sugar level was at a 37, so they gave him a glucose "push" through the IV. Do you know, God is a surprising God? After Rich got set up in his room, her became more alert and asked for something to eat!!! You don't know how incredible that is if you haven't been living with him. He had some grape juice and a water ice and looked like he was having manna- not far from the truth if you ask me. I cried again just from the joy of seeing sparks of life again. God is turning me into a crybaby cuz I was just too proud to cry before. He's resting comfortably now, and I have new energy to keep praying and hoping and rejoicing. Our doctor did say that people that want to visit Rich should do so soon, but I pray for a more God-glorifying outcome. It's still an uphill battle, but let's keep crying out to God. I'll keep you all updated."

TOTAL AND COMPLETE REMISSION!!

I'll let you guess which one is Mr. Lymphoma

KIM UPDATE: We just got the PET scan and the verdict is in....TOTAL AND COMPLETE REMISSION!!  PRAISE THE LORD!! We still need to do two more rounds to make sure everything that is undetectable is destroyed but this is per the doctor, "the best thing we could have hoped for". Thank you all for your prayers and support. God has heard you and we are overwhelmed by His grace and mercies. God is good!
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(I wrote most of below by faith this morning...I just had a "feeling". Ya' know?) Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Cancer is a brutal, no holds barred, fist fight. Each round has it's unique ups and downs and its own ebb and flow. If I had to summarize our fight thus far:

Round One - Kim entered the fight in a weakened state. After enduring several "-oscopys" and a "pericardial window" - the first round proved this was not going to be a "walk in the park". Rituxan came out and knocked her hard to the ground (see severe infusion reaction HERE) - so hard at one point it led to one of the darkest nights of my life as I thought cancer (Mr. Lymphoma) had soundly beaten us in the opening round. Round 1 goes to Cancer.

Round Two - Kim came out ready for this round and Team Lymphoma didn't know what hit them. We had a new coach in our corner from U of Chicago and she came up with a more aggressive game plan and Kim executed to a tee. This time around Rituxan came in with a roar but left with a whimper. Round 2 goes to Kim.

'Twas the Night Before Cancer...

Well, here we sit on the eve of “C-Day”. Tomorrow we head back to University of Chicago to see if the cancer is gone. We've been waiting 84 (sometimes crazy) days for this defining moment. Typically after four rounds of chemotherapy the cancer is hoped to be eradicated. If nothing shows up on the PET scan then the protocol is to run two more rounds just to make sure they get everything even the scan may not see. If the cancer remains then it’s time to reset the plan and consider more aggressive out of the box treatments like a bone marrow transplant. (By the way if you haven’t registered yet – what is you waiting for? Please register HERE!)

To be honest, Kim and I are dreading the thought of two more rounds of chemo let alone doing much more than that. That said we are trying to get to a place of accepting the Lord’s will for us – whatever that may be. Of course, we are praying that the cancer is gone and we pray that it never appears again. But we know it’s not about “our will in heaven” but “His will on earth”. 

I spent much of early this morning looking at one our favorite posts on this blog. When the cancer first hit many of you left in the comments sections verses the Lord gave you in your darkest moments in life and the moving stories behind it. It is ministering to us in ways you will never know.

In that same vein, we received a card from a friend last week who has a daughter that is dealing with a serious health issue that really spoke to us. In it she wrote:

“Nothing Happens by Accident. I am Sovereign!”

I know there were many of you who got the news around 9-10pm last night to pray for Kim because we were headed to the E.R. with little else to go on, and by faith you got on your knees and "stormed the gates of heaven". Thank you. God heard your prayers and Kim is doing great. She is back home, her headache is completely gone and although tired and still with some minor back pain she looks 100% better. So you're probably wondering what happened last night? Here it is...

First it was Rituxan. Now apparently, our favorite drug is Methotrexate. Specifically methotrexate injected via spinal tap. This drug was started in Round 3 of Kim’s chemotherapy to keep the cancer from attacking her central nervous system, and brain. The injection in her spinal cord was done 8 days ago and triggered massive headaches every time she tried to sit up and forced her to be bedridden since - keeping her head flat was the only way to find relief. Nothing else worked – not I.V. fluids, not caffeine, not heavy pain meds. They told us it’s basically like having your worst hangover x 100. Usually after 48 hours the fluid leak around the spinal cord from the lumbar puncture resolves itself and people feel much better, but we’ve found that Kim is always in the top 5%. Meaning she’s always in that elite group of people in which doctors say, “That’s strange. We only see that happen in about 5% of patients”. What can I say? I married a special woman.

getting ready for her 1st blood patch

So all this forced us to try a blood patch yesterday night. The blood patch procedure went well, her headache improved immediately. However, the blood patch is injected into the lower back as well and its purpose is to clot any holes in the spinal cord which are leaking. The downside is that, per the doctor, it can feel like someone took a baseball bat to your lower back. But we figured "temporary baseball bat to back" < "perpetual hangover headaches".

So we went in at 3:30pm to get the blood patch. I had to set up a bed for Kim in the back of the mini-van because the day before when I drove her to the doctor’s the nausea and headaches from sitting upright (even leaning back) were too much. The procedure started around 5:30pm and she was done by 6:00pm. After resting for a while we picked up Timothy and Selah from our friend Jill’s place and headed home. (Caleb was at basketball practice with our friend Gerald and their son). Although Kim could hardly feel her back we were all in good spirits. The headaches were gone!

The Best Birthday Present Ever

Back when we both had hair... ;)

Today is Kim's birthday. I'd have to say there were a couple times this year that I didn't think we'd be celebrating this day together. I have stood in the furnace of a few fires in my lifetime but none were as hot as the two separate moments when you think your wife is about to leave you and your three children.

None.

Since then I've told just about every married couple I've run across that every spouse should go through a "sacred moment" like that. Yes, It's difficult. Yes, it's excruciating. But it truly is a gift from God.

I never shared this on my original blog post but the first time I thought Kim had died (Jan 8th) I was at home putting the kids down for bed when a nurse called me crying (see HERE). She could barely get the words out but managed to choke out between her tears, "You need to come to the hospital - right now." You'd be surprised at how many thoughts can race through your head in just 20 minutes. One of the biggest things I wrestled with during that long drive was what would my last words to her be? If she was breathing her last what would I want to leave her with? Many different phrases and cliches came to mind - and although I hated that I had to even think of what I would have to say - the Lord gave me three words.

Bone Marrow Going Global!

I don't want this important issue to get lost in Kim's health updates and my silly polls. If you're just becoming aware of this issue - please click HERE for the 411.  If you are in the Evanston, IL or Northern VA area please see UPDATE in RED below!)

I can't even begin to describe all the wonderful things that have been happening on the bone marrow front. Special thanks to all of you that have taken the personal step of registering! This small step could save a life!

For those that have chosen to go even further and pick up a weapon and join the fight in a bigger way the events that have transpired over the last couple weeks have been breath-taking and inspiring. A few examples:

- My good friend David (along with several friends from Calvary) ran a great drive at Calvary a couple Sundays ago and got over 200 registrants in ~3 hours work. Great job! Not only that they are working with other leaders in Chicago. I also know they were involved with a drive in Hinsdale (last Sunday) and drives in Evanston and Naperville are being set up as we speak!  They've also contacted family in Baltimore who has committed to helping set up a drive at their several thousand member Korean church. Drives in Tampa, FL and the West Coast are in the works as well.

All the Way My Savior Leads Me

This post is a continuation of a previous post (see HERE). As I mentioned before there is one song that has risen above all others in the last week or so. I shared this special song  and story during the worship service of our old church (Calvary) this past Sunday and now I wish to share it with you... 

A couple weeks ago I described in detail the longest two hours of my life ("Dark Night of the Soul") which I now realize occurred on Friday the 13th (strange?). This was when I thought I had lost Kim (for the 2nd time that week), and at the very least, I was certain the chemo treatment would not work due to her severe infusion reaction. After the "code blue" episode and after the nurses finally administered the heavy pain meds -  Kim was out of it for nearly two hours. As I wrote before, during that time I stood by her bed leaning next to her head and quoted Scripture, wept, prayed, repented and sang softly into her ear. It was the most heart-wrenching and yet most sacred moment I have ever experienced. There's something that happened that night that I had only told a very few people (until this past Sunday). To be honest, I didn't really understand it fully at the time. But let me explain what has unfolded since then. As Kim started to come around  and as her head began to stir - with her eyes remaining closed and from a very dry mouth something remarkable occurred, she uttered her first word.... 

"Cros-beeeeee", she whispered.

"Huh?" I thought.

I leaned closer and asked her to repeat it...

"Crosby..." She repeated softly.

I was completely mystified. I had no idea who she was talking about or what it meant. It was just like that scene right out of the classic film "Citizen Kane" but it wasn't "Rosebud" that was uttered, it was...."Crosby."

Second Opinion and Prayer Requests

We are requesting prayers from any and everyone!

SECOND OPINION

So yesterday, we finally made the long trip to the University of Chicago and met with Dr. Sonali Smith for a second opinion. Dr. Smith is one of the leading experts on lymphoma in the world and the timing in meeting her was providential and perfect because she was able to make a more complete and accurate diagnosis with the benefit of having the full blood work and PET scan available for her review and we were able to miraculously get in to see her before Kim's 2nd round of chemo.

She is an acclaimed research doctor with excellent bedside manners and despite her brilliance has a way of explaining things in “layman” terms. She was also very up-front about all the potential risks and pitfalls we might be facing. While, to be truthful, some of it was hard to hear – we appreciated her honest approach and her over-arching desire not to just “treat” the disease and beat it into remission, but to cure it, so that it might never appear again in Kim’s lifetime. (It’s not until 5 years after treatment in which the cancer does not reappear that she is officially declared to be “cured” – so this is a long road regardless of remission)

Calvary Reunion & a Very Special Praise

Kim with Calvary friends - circa 2006

This past Sunday was the first time that we had been to our old church (Calvary English Chapel) since we left in January 2009. It's amazing to think about what the Lord has done in us while we were there and what He has done in our lives since. God is so good.

While we would never have chosen a reunion under these circumstances, Kim and I felt this would be the perfect Sunday to visit. We wanted to say thanks to the many people (and Noah's Ark children!) who have been praying for us, let them see for themselves how their prayers for Kim are being heard, and we definitely wanted to come and support the bone marrow drive for Andrew Park, who attends the church. By the way if you haven't registered to do this yet - what are you waiting for? Click HERE for the why you should and the how you can do this. The turnout for the drive yesterday was fantastic (in the hundreds?) and I'm confident it's only a matter of time before we find a match for Andrew and our new friend Connor.

Back to Calvary, I remembered the day after we left I wrote a "thank you" note to our Calvary friends on Facebook. So I went digging into the archives of my Facebook "Notes" and strangely,  I noticed that it was exactly three years ago (to the weekend) that we left the church and said our tearful "good-byes". (At this point though - is anything strange anymore?)

Back to the Hospital...

pericardial fluid or pink lemonade?

So we drove to the hospital this morning to check the fluid level around Kim's heart for what we thought was just a regular old echocardiogram. While the echo did not show an increase in fluid there was still a significant amount present (500ml - 1/2 a liter) and it was not dissipating. This coupled with Kim's fairly low blood pressure this morning (85/60) led the team of cardiologists to move forward with a pericardiocentesis - which is a procedure which basically involves applying local anesthesia and using a large needle to extract the fluid buildup around Kim's heart. While it does not treat the cause of the buildup it does relieve some of the danger involved with the heart and buys more time while we wait for the cancer to shrink and relieve some of these other symptoms. While the procedure was successful she is not comfortable having another tube in her chest with a drain bag and will need to stay overnight to be monitored. Minor setback.

Seein Jesus in Cancer

summer 2009 reunion

About 2.5 years ago I wrote a note about my high school youth pastor, Kevin, on Facebook called "Thankful". In His goodness, the Lord brought him into my life at the perfect time. To be perfectly honest, I was in 8th grade, had moved to a new school, and was an insecure, prepubescent, scared young boy who, quite frankly, struggled with suicidal thoughts. The note is re-posted below:

Thankful  - posted August 20, 2009

If you ever get the chance to go back and thank someone for blessing your life - do it! Call them. Write them. Pray for them. No matter how much time has passed - do something! It's such a blessing for everyone involved. A few months ago I felt this urge to write a letter to my old youth pastor, Kevin S, so i could share with him the enormous blessing and impact he was to me at a very pivotal point in my life. Growing up in a Korean church I'm sure any kid would have loved to have a 6'4" former college QB as a youth pastor, but much more than being athletic and funny - it was the love he demonstrated with his gentle rebukes, his meeting us before school for Bible Study twice a week, his attending our high school games (to watch me get pinned while wrestling) all while holding numerous part-time jobs, attending seminary and raising three well-mannered kids (now totaling six!). This taught me more about the love of Christ than a thousand sermons.

Praise & Prayer

PRAISE TO SHARE
I'm so thankful that we have so many dear friends in the medical field. I have received many of your calls, messages and emails with helpful advice, suggestions, etc (even though I have not had the time to respond to them all) and I know some of my "oncology for dummies" posts are probably alarming to you because I leave out a lot of information and interpret the field through the lens of my 10th grade grade biology class (which I nearly failed). But rest assured - we are getting a second opinion - as I have always intended. Overall, we have been happy with our current care and team of doctors but this is not an uncommon practice and we are just covering all our bases. The hospital does not release medical records until 48 hours after discharge and I wanted to get Kim's first treatment of chemo in asap since the cancer was spreading so rapidly - so that was basically the hold-up.

Dr. Sonali Smith

We are so blessed to live in a city where a number of world-class research clinics/hospitals in the world are located (especially U of C and Northwestern). When I was creating a shortlist of lymphoma experts to reach out to there was one name that kept coming up - Dr. Sonali Smith at U of Chicago. She is doing some cutting edge work on lymphoma - just google her name and you will see how legendary she is.