Bone Marrow Update & IT IS FINISHED!

Marty & my Favorite Prez

GREAT NEWS! Kim is finally done with her last chemo treatment and was discharged from the hospital today! After 42 nights in the hospital....it is FINISHED! I'm so proud of her and thankful to God. It's been an amazingly difficult but blessed four months. Unfortunately, I was not even in town for this momentous occasion because I'm in Washington D.C. right now attending a GE Leadership Conference (with Kim's blessing). Normally, I wouldn't have even considered going, but there are things happening at GE with the bone marrow initiative and telling our story was the best way to keep the momentum going. Believe it or not, the theme of the conference this year is "Leading With Courage: Share Your Story". How appropriate.

When the cancer hit in January my company supported me in every way possible. They graciously granted me an extended medical leave so I could focus on taking care of Kim and our kids. And soon after, when I asked some senior leaders at GE for their help on raising awareness for the bone marrow issue they stepped up BIG. In just two short months they have managed to run four separate bone marrow drives in each of our Chicago area offices, and they are about to roll out bone marrow drives in all of our major offices across the country! I was surprised to find out that they had also included a flyer at the conference for each of the 700 attendees telling our story and informing them of the process. I even got to share our story with our CEO and it was great to hear from so many leaders from all over the country who are eager to help. I'm so thankful to work for a company that doesn't just care about the bottom line, but cares deeply about it's employees. It's exciting to see how quickly things are moving and by the end of this, hopefully, there will be thousands of new registrants - and if even one life is saved it will be worth it.

I flew in late on Saturday night and got to worship on Sunday with the good folks at ChristReformed Presbyterian Church. I have known the pastor and his wife (Skip & Bonnie) since they were in seminary in St. Louis, back when I was in high school, and they and their church (especially a couple named John & Charlene) have been so faithful in praying for us. Charlene was diagnosed with breast cancer about 3 years ago and had to undergo her treatment despite being 24 weeks pregnant. Amazingly, by the grace of God, none of the chemo drugs went through the placenta and the baby was completely fine and by the way, he is the cutest and brightest three year old you will ever meet. After their service I had the privilege (along with Charlene) of sharing our testimony with them and was so blessed to see old friends and make new ones.

God has been so good and we are so thankful to have a story to share of His goodness and even our struggles in our darkest moments. As I've said before, being a "witness" does not mean just sharing the gospel with non-believers. I think it means sharing with others what the Lord has done and is doing in your lives - good and bad. Psalm 105 has been on my heart a lot lately and I'm trying to be faithful to it's call...

Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon his name; make known his deeds among the peoples! Sing to him, sing praises to him; tell of all his wondrous works! -Psalm 105:1-2

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

Beauty & the Beast: A Glimmer of Hope (Chapter 10)

KIM UPDATE: Kim is back in the hospital for Round Six now. She's doing well and is eager to finish injecting mice into her blood stream. (not kidding - google the contents of Rituxan).  Please continue to lift up prayers for our friends Andrew, Connor and Brooke. Andrew and Connor are preparing for their bone marrow transplants next month and they still have a long road ahead of them. For details see Joe's blog HERE. Thanks for all  your faithful prayers!
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(If you're joining in late you can read previous chapters HERE.)

Accountant Pete

After the receipt of my "rejection letter" and four months of not talking, God finally opened the door - a tiny crack. I went up to campus in October of 1997 to visit for a Praise Night and after it finished I was talking to some friends in the foyer of Foellinger Hall, when I noticed her standing nearby with her back towards me. I remember seeing her and thinking,

"Okay, this is stupid. Just go say 'hi' to her, and let her know that you have no hard feelings." 

Since she was the last one to write, I guess I felt obligated to "make the next move".  So I walked up to her and tried to channel my inner "Rico-Suave" but that was impossible. Rico would not be bothered - he was too hurt from being ignored months prior. So I only had one "character" left - "Accountant Pete". Not quite as sophisticated as Rico or nearly as smooth with the ladies but if reconciling cash flow statements were an Olympic sport he would be on the cover of every Wheaties box. So I take a deep breath, walk up to her and strike up a conversation. I remember overall it was fairly superficial - I asked her how her senior year was going and how her family was doing. She did seem genuinely happy to see me (or perhaps "relieved" is a better word). Kim was good friends with my two younger sisters and so I knew she was stuck in an awkward position when we weren't talking. I know it wasn't a huge deal but I thought it was important to at least let her know through that simple gesture that I wasn't upset or bitter about what had happened four months ago. She seemed to appreciate that. I'd like to say that the romance was re-kindled that night and her passion for me burst into a white-hot inferno of gasoline-doused "Flamin' Hot Cheetos" (or something else that is really, really, really HOT). But to be honest, I think she was just glad that we could be friends - or at least friendly with each other.

Seeing Jesus in Eagles

KIM UPDATE: This is it. Today we check-in for the last and final round - Round 6! It's hard to believe it's almost over. The side effects are accumulating as the toxins from the chemo build up in her body but overall she's doing great. Thanks for your prayers. 

Below is a video and some excerpts from a paper I did a few years ago at Moody called "Biblical Eagleology". It was inspired by some things my good pastor friend (Sung) shared with me many years ago which led to more study and has served as a faithful reminder of how God uses trials and tribulations so that we might live up to our God-given DNA and "soar on wings like eagles".

Have you ever noticed that there are few animals that are mentioned more in the Bible than eagles? Besides being our national symbol, there is something different about this unique creature and I believe God had something special in mind when He created them in that eagles were specifically designed to teach us something about God and ourselves. During a time of personal trial a few years ago, studying eagles in the Bible really blessed me because I realized so much of how God loves us and grows us is found in how He transforms helpless eaglets to soaring eagles. God often describes himself as an eagle. In reminding His people of how he redeemed them from their bondage and oppression in years past He said:  

“You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles’ wings, and brought you to Myself.” (Exodus 19:4)

THEIR ORIGIN

Despite the adult eagles’ noble features and majestic qualities – the baby eagle (or eaglet) appears fairly non-descript and undistinguished. Born in appearance much like many other birds - frail and often grayish in color - the eaglet can be easily confused for many other average birds such as ducks, geese or even chicken. However, this does not change the fact that although the bird may look like other non-descript birds, she still carries the DNA of an eagle, regardless of her outward appearance or what she or others may actually think.

We as Christians are often like these eaglets; born frail, helpless and non-descript. Others may not immediately recognize us as being any different from any other “bird”. However, in an outward sense even Jesus seemed fairly ordinary on the surface (For he had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. –Isaiah 53:2). Perhaps, in our immaturity, we are very similar to other baby birds. Totally helpless and completely dependent on our mother to feed and protect us and completely unable to fly. In some sense, many of us don’t even realize we were created to fly until we grow in maturity and strength and wisdom. But it is not the Lord’s desire or intention for us to remain in this condition forever. He calls us to be different from all other birds.

A Very Happy Anniversary

...on April 21st, 2001, my beautiful wife said, "I do.", and God, Himself, joined us together...

Last year (on our 10 year anniversary) I pulled out my old college journal and found this entry dated March 19th, 1997 (4 years before we got married). I had not read it with Kim until our 10 year anniversary and it's a bit more meaningful today given what we have gone through since. (WARNING: the content is exceedingly sappy and spiritual - I'm pretty sure I was reading Jim Elliot's memoirs at the time I wrote this):   

April 21st, 2001

"Have been spending more time with Kim lately. Went out to study with Jane and her tonight at Barnes & Noble...I must admit that before really spending time with her, I had exceedingly high expectations of her and who she is. 14 months of prayer can easily do that. But what continues to surprise me is that as I see more of her I am realizing that my expectations of her were wrong -- they were much too low. Because when I see her, I see Christ, and what greater beauty is there then your Son who loved me and gave himself for me? I must confess at times I often stop in despair because I know I do not deserve someone like Kim. But I find peace and comfort in the gift of my salvation which was neither earned or deserved, and am quickly reminded that no good gift from You is really deserved. And this is how I see her. As a gift from You. Her friendship. Her sisterhood. Her Christ-likeness. All gifts from you. And if nothing comes of us more than these 3 things, I can still do nothing but praise my God because You have enriched my life because of her. And for that I am thankful." 

I told you it was sappy but it is true. It was true 15 years ago and even more true today....

To my lovely wife: "I love you." 
To my loving God: "I thank you." 

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. -Genesis 29:20

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

Beauty & the Beast: The Rejection Letter (Chapter 9)

KIM UPDATE: Kim is recovering well this week. Thanks for your prayers. She does have a hard time sleeping these days because of "hot flashes". Last night we slept with the sliding door to our bedroom open. Thank God for down blankets. The final round begins the middle of next week. We can see the finish line from here and it's time to sprint!
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The road to Kim had to go through her cousin Bernie

(If you're joining in late you can read previous chapters HERE.) And so with Celine Dion's song on repeat in my CD player the summer of depression began (1997). It was a cruel, cruel summer. Leaving me here on my own. It was a cruel, cruel summer. Now she's gone. I guess Bananarama songs also took on new meaning for me as well.

Well, a few weeks after my visit to Champaign, I received a five page letter from Kim explaining why she felt like things were not working out. I pulled it out of the archives this morning and read it again for the first time in many years to write this chapter. In it she wrote:

"...I would like to still treat you as a brother in Christ. Thinking back, I don't think we treated each other any other way than a brother and sister and I hope that could still stay true. Peter, I still look at you as a brother and don't regret our friendship at all. I really hope you don't take all this personally - when you asked me that question over the phone about my decision being based more on circumstance or you...it really is more circumstance and timing but yet at the same time i can't say for sure whether I can see things between us working out in the future...despite circumstance. And this is why I had said that I didn't want you to wait - or keep hoping. It isn't fair for you."

Ahhhhh! This was basically the "let's just be friends" cliche ending with the classic "it isn't you...it's me" line slightly altered to "...it isn't fair for you". Trust me, at that point I already knew life was not "fair". I had three sisters growing up and when you are stuck watching "Gidget" and "Little House in the Prairie" every day of the summer break you quickly realize life is not fair. That said, knowing Kim I knew that this was about as strong a worded rejection as possible - it was her way of saying, "Go away! Leave me alone! You creep!" (Okay, maybe the "creep" part was a little over the top....perhaps "loser" would be more apropos?) She then described her recent conversation with our college pastor. Reading it again this morning gave me chills as I found it to be very prophetic:

Prayers Needed....

KIM UPDATE: Kim is doing well right now. Round 5 resulted in lot of "hot flashes" and intense body aches from the Neulasta shot but the worst appears to be over and we are gearing up for our last and final round next week. 

PRAYER REQUESTS: If you would be kind enough to lift up a prayer for a beautiful  young lady named Brooke, who is the daughter of some friends of ours - we would be so grateful. I can't share much but she is in dire straits right now and needs a miracle and would appreciate any prayers you might offer up for her and her family. Also, please continue to lift up Andrew and Connor and their families as they undergo difficult preparations for their bone marrow transplants in mid-May. But what an answer to prayer finding matches were! Praise the Lord! Someone sent me a link to this article from the Chicago Tribune today which profiled Connor. Please read this moving story if you have a moment. Thanks. 
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[taken from the Chicago Tribune, Wed, 4/18/12]

Since their son Connor Lim was born, Stephanie Park and Steven Lim have been on countless trips to doctors and hospitals dealing with lung infections, dozens of ear infections and constant sickness. It wasn’t until he was 3-years-old that Connor was diagnosed with X-linked immunodeficiency with hyper–immunoglobulin M — a rare immunodeficiency that makes it hard for the body to fight off infection.

Connor, now 7, is being treated, but the only true cure comes through a bone marrow transplant. But finding a donor has proved nearly impossible. After four years and about 2,200 donors, they have only found one match. “It’s just been a rollercoaster,” Park said. “We actually had a match in December of last year. We were elated and then she backed out.” They don’t know why their donor had a change of heart, but it was devastating for the family....[see full article HERE].

In His Grace,

Peter & Kim

Seeing Jesus in the Cosmos

"What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?" -Psalm 8:4



What a humbling perspective. Not long ago the pastor of my church (Dr. James MacDonald) spoke about the utter vastness of the universe and how perhaps God created it to be as large it is to demonstrate how great He is and how very small we are. Amen. It's amazing that such a great God would be mindful of us - let alone love us enough to die for us.

So before the cancer hit a good friend of mine gave me an article from Scientific American called "The Origin of the Universe" (Sept, 2009 issue) and asked me to decipher it. Now, I'm no scientist by any stretch of the imagination but I found it to be a fascinating (albeit difficult) read that actually created more questions than answers. On a high-level - here is what I took away from it: